


Sometimes, what you want isn't what you need

by MissLili



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, But it will be fixed, Everything Is Canon, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), M/M, Post-season 7, Realization of Feelings, Season 7 Fix it, Shiro (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Shiro Is A Good Friend, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), discovering of sexuality, don't worry about the Allurance part this fic is about Klance, lot of talks about feelings, we love and respect Allura here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-07-27 20:23:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16226651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLili/pseuds/MissLili
Summary: After the battle on Earth, the Paladins of Voltron are finally able to take a well-deserved break.A break that will allow feelings to come clear to the surface and relationship to change in a way that Lance truly never expected. As he is forced to accept the changes happening inside his heart, he will realize that what he needed was in fact far much closer than he thought. He just needed a little push to see it.





	1. The first step

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this fic after watching, and being utterly disappointed, by season 7 (like so many of us). So I decided to write what I would love to see happen in season 8 that would explain everything that happened and still fix the mess we were left in.  
> I wanted it to be a One-Shot but then I realized it that it would probably be too long so I decided to make it a multi-chaptered fic instead!
> 
> So yeah, it's really late right now and I can barely think straight so I hope I'm understandable and I didn't make too many mistakes since English isn't my native language...
> 
> It's my first Klance and Voltron fic so I hope you will like it!

 

  
You would think that after getting close to death on so many occasions, and even dying for real once actually, you would welcome any possibility of rest that would be offered to you. That's also something Lance thought, after all. All these times during which he was forced to go on dangerous missions after dangerous missions, the only thing in his mind was that one day, he would be able to come home to his family and rest. And that at that moment, everything would finally be alright.

  
And it was. For a moment, everything finally slowed down and Lance, sitting for the first time in a real bed and warm and safe between his mother's arms, the weight of his little niece and nephew on his laps, was at peace.

The problem happened later. Once his family was ushered out of the room by the nurse telling them that visiting hours were finished, leaving Lance alone again with his thoughts. When he didn't have anything else to do to distract himself from the terrifying images that filled his brain as soon as he closed his eyes. And because it was the first time he felt safe in so long, it was only now that he truly realized how bad it all had been. How scared and sad he had been. How even now, he was still too tense to truly relax.

That feeling stayed with him as he got better, was allowed to leave the infirmary of the Garrison and was able to meet up with the others. It wasn't always there, most of the time he was able to be his usual happy self, but sometimes, when he was alone for too long, he would be brought back to those times. It happened at random times too, like when his sister had clapped him on the back suddenly and he had turned around violently in answer, ready to jump on her and slam her to the ground, only stopping a moment before. She made sure to purposely make some noise in advance to announce her presence after that.

PTSD, that's what it was. Lance wasn't dumb, contrary to what seemed to be everyone else's opinion, and so he knew that what was happening to him was normal, not good, but normal after what he went through. He knew he wasn't alone either, Shiro had it too, ever since he was first kidnapped by the Galra, the others probably did too, he had just never asked and they hadn't either.

It was a bit strange between them now. As if they didn't know how to act around each other now that they weren't in constant danger or the only living being lost in space. Of course, the fact that most of them were requisitioned to help with various military works and were therefore too busy to talk to him didn't help.  
  
Pidge and Hunk helped Mr. Holt and Coran with the creation of the new palace, Allura had to attend various meetings with the chiefs of the Garrison, Keith helped with the flying training of the new recruits, or even civilians, even giving a hand with the fighting training from time to time and Shiro... Shiro assisted Allura too but most of the time he seemed lost in his thoughts. No one dared to talk to him. The man had been through so much, endured so many horrible things that, despite everything he himself had lived through, Lance couldn't even begin to imagine... Lance couldn't help but feel how unfair it was that he was the only one who didn't get to come home to the one he had left behind.  
  
Keith had talked to him when he heard the news, at least he had tried, the young man had come back from that discussion looking so sad that Lance had wanted to hug him. He didn't do it of course. That would have been weird. It's not something the two of them did after all. Hug. Each other that is. Lance loved hugs. But he had that weird feeling that Keith was off-limits. He just didn't know what those limits were about and he didn't really want to find out.  
  
Which left him, useless, dumb Lance. No one had come to him running because they needed his help with anything remotely urgent. At first, he was happy about it because he could finally rest and enjoy some deserved free time with his family but it became hurtful really soon. It shouldn't hurt him that way, he was used to it after all. He knew it rationally, he wasn't a bad pilot, fighter or even scientist, he was even quite good at shooting to be totally honest. But he wasn't even coming close to the other's talents. It was a given that they would be asked to help but he wouldn't.  
  
It still didn't make it hurt any less though.  
  
The sound of someone knocking on the door brought him back from his depressing thoughts and he looked up from where he was sitting on the ground, putting down his joystick as he realized that the screen in front of him had been displaying the words “Game Over” for a while already.

  
  
“Come in,” he called.

  
The door opened and Allura timidly appeared. Immediately, Lance felt a knot in his stomach tighten. Ever since they arrived on Earth, his relationship with the princess had been strange. Not that he was complaining, of course, that would be crazy. But while Allura would usually spend most of her time with Coran, Shiro or even the mouse, she now seemed to seek out Lance every day as soon as she was free from her duty as the representative of Altea. Lance wasn't sure how to interpret that sudden change. Veronica seemed to think that the princess was interested in him and, while he had started by fervently refuting that statement since the woman had been quite clear about how she felt about him when they were in space, he wasn't so sure anymore. And the fact that this possibility didn't make him ecstatic confused him even more.  


“Hi Lance, sorry, am I bothering you?” she started, looking at the TV's screen that was still displaying Lance's failure. Seeing that, the latter quickly shut it down.  
  
“Hi,” he answered as he put his hand on the back of his neck nervously. “No, not at all, that game was boring, anyway!” He added, putting on an air of false confidence.  
  
Allura chuckled and came to sit next to Lance who couldn't help but notice that she was sitting closer than she would usually choose to.  
  
“Hmm, so,” started Lance, trying his best to not squirm around too much. “To what do I owe this pleasure, princess?” he continued trying his best to act like his usual self.  
  
“Well,” Allura stopped as if she herself wasn't so sure anymore before turning to face him smiling at him sweetly. “I just... I wanted to see you, I suppose,” she answered, a blush appearing on her tan cheeks. “Ever since we arrived on Earth, you've been a constant support for me. I'm... really grateful for that.”  
  
“You don't have to, Allura!” Answered Lance honestly. “I really didn't do anything that extraordinary, I mean, the others have all also-”  
  
“No, Lance.” Allura put her hand on Lance's arm, effectively shutting him up as his brain zeroed on the zone of the touch. “I mean it. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what would have happened to me. You didn't just help me now but also all those times before. I... just didn't see it,” she looked down, her face turning sad for a moment and suddenly, she looked as if she was extremely far away from Lance despite sitting mere inches apart from him. When she looked up again, her eyes seemed lost and desperate. “But,” she continued, the hand on his arm tightening, “I see it now. I really do. And I... I just...”  


Lance froze when he saw that she had suddenly decided to stop trying to put her thoughts into words and had instead opted to simply close her eyes, her face turned towards his in an obvious expectation.  
  
He swallowed, what the heck was going on? Well, no. He knew what was happening, he just didn't understand how it could be happening. And he understood even less his reaction to the situation, he was supposed to jump in joy in front of such a chance, but there was no joy inside of him right now. Pushing these thoughts asides, Lance frowned, something was off with him, but Allura, Allura wanted him. The girl he had been crushing on for years was suddenly interested in him, he couldn't let this opportunity go to waste just because his mind wasn't cooperating. A literal princess was in front of him, waiting for him to kiss her! Shaking himself once again, Lance squeezed his eyes shut, he just had to do this, afterward, he was sure that everything would be alright, that's what he wanted. That's what he had always wanted.  
  
But his lips had barely brushed Allura's that he was already springing away, standing up and nearly running to the door.  


“S-Sorry, princess!” He said hastily, trying to sound like anything else than profoundly freaking out. “I just... I just remembered that I promised my mother that I would show her my shooting skill, I will... C-Catch up with you later.” He finished, his voice sounding far too squeaky for his liking.

  
He didn't wait for an answer, didn't even dare to look at the girl he had scarcely kissed before running out of the room and as far away as possible.  
  
Lance didn't stop running, didn't even look at the curious looks that were thrown his way when he ran past people. He ran like a madman and didn't stop until he was deep inside the building, somewhere dark and empty of anybody. He didn't even knew where he really was but knowing that he was alone was enough for him. Finally stopping his race, he let himself fall to the ground, his back against the wall and his head between his knees.  


“What's the quiznack is wrong with me?” He mumbled, his voice resonating loudly around him despite how small it had been.  
  
“Lance?”  


At the sound of his name, the concerned nearly jumped out of his skin, heart racing, he looked up to stare at the person who was standing in front of him when he was so sure that he was finally alone.

  
“Shiro?” He asked in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”  


Shiro looked at him for a moment and Lance used that opportunity to do the same. The man looked tired. Screw that, Lance knew that it wasn't just a look, Shiro was beyond tired, he was exhausted, he would need to stay in bed and sleep for at least a week just to stop looking like a zombie. But just like the rest of them, Lance had no doubt that even with how exhausted he was, Shiro must have troubles finding sleep and that when he did find it, it was filled with horrible nightmares.  


“I was... Visiting someone,” Shiro finally answered, moving his new robotic arm to point at something while his face turned incredibly sad and as Lance looked in that direction, he wished he could turn back time just to beat himself in the head and stop himself from asking such an insensitive question; he was sitting just a meter away from the memorial of the soldiers that had fallen during the attacks. There, among so many others, was the name of someone extremely important for the man standing in front of him. Adam.  


Lance wasn't sure of what exactly happened between the two, the only things he knew for sure was what Keith had shared with them when they learned the news of his death and saw how it affected their previous leader. That he was Shiro's former boyfriend and that they were engaged but that they had broken it off shortly before Shiro's mission to Kerberos. And now, Shiro was finally back to Earth but the man was gone for good.  


“Sorry,” Lance replied hastily. “I... Hadn't really realized where I was.” He hesitated, nearly asking if the other man was okay but opting against it, the answer was obvious enough.  
  
“I figured as much when I saw you barging in here like that,” answered the white-haired man and Lance could see the hint of a smile stretching his lips. “Can I sit with you? Or would you rather be alone for now?”

  
Lance blinked, he hadn't expected such considerations from the older man. He knew he wasn't being fair. It wasn't the real Shiro who had treated him like shit for months after all, but his mind still had some difficulties with accepting that fact sometimes.

  
“You can. Stay I mean,” he finally said, avoiding the man's gaze as the latter sat down next to him, close enough for him to feel his warmth but not so close that they would touch. He was grateful for this. He felt like he wouldn't be able to handle anyone touching him right now.  
  
“Sorry,” Shiro started, bringing him back to reality. “I know I haven't really been... present for you all since we came back. You must all think that I've let you down.”  
  
“What?” Lance couldn't stop the shocked exclamation from leaving his lips. “Man, none of us think such a thing!” He pursued, his disbelief clear in his voice. “You're doing a lot of things already considering... You know... Actually, we all think that you should rest more.”  
  
Shiro stayed silent for a moment, his gaze directed forwards but not really looking at anything. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Keith has been telling me the same thing but... I think he knows why I just can't stop working. It's just... Easier that way. It keeps me from thinking.”  
  
“Oh.” Lance couldn't say anything for a while, the man beside him had been through so much, had suffered so much more than any of them. And yet, there was no way for Lance to help him with his pain. “I get it too,” he admitted in the end. “I mean, I can't believe that it's anything close to what you have to endure. Far from it. But... Sometimes when I'm alone, it seems like I'm back there, in some of the battles we fought, when I thought I was going to die. When I really did die.” His voice choked on that last part, remembering that horrible feeling but he forced himself to keep going. “And not just when I'm alone, sometimes it even happens when I'm with other people, it will be silent for just a second or someone will move too quickly and next thing I know, I'm ready to jump them and kill them.”  
  
“Ptsd,” nodded Shiro softly. “Have you thought of going to see one of the therapists of the Garrison?”  
  
“What? No, I don't need one! I'm not...” Lance stopped himself, leaving his sentence in suspend.  
  
“Weak?” Finished Shiro for him and he couldn't help but feel ashamed for thinking that way. “I was thinking of going to see one, you know? Do I seem weak to you, now?”  
  
“Of course not!” Lance exclaimed, outraged at that possibility. “I could never think that about you!” He stopped for a second before continuing more softly. “I know it wouldn't really make me weak... It's just... None of the others seem like they need to see one, you know? I don't want to be the one to stand out.” The word “again” went unsaid but both could still clearly hear it hanging between them.  
  
“I think you're wrong about that Lance, but even if you were right and that you were indeed the only one who needed to see one. That still wouldn't mean anything. It's not weak or cowardly to know when you need to accept someone's help. It means you are mature enough to know your own limits and to take care of yourself.” Shiro waited for a second, his face turning sad once again. “That's something I learned too late,” he admitted finally. “I don't know if you're aware of this but I had a terminal illness. One that would have killed me around two years after the start of the mission for Kerberos.”  


Lance felt his body become rigid as he heard this, his mind quickly making the math of how long it had been since he first heard about Shiro's disappearance on that mission.

  
“B-But,” he started shakily.  
  
“Yes, I should be long dead by now,” agreed Shiro easily, far too easily considering the subject. “I guess getting captured by the Galra had at least one advantage,” he added ruefully. “But I had no way of knowing this at that time. Adam... Adam wanted me to stop. He wanted me to step down from the mission. He would have resigned from his job at the Garrison too and we would have lived together until my time was up. We were engaged at that time.” Lance heard how the older man's voice got caught on that word but didn't comment on it, letting him talk at his own pace. “I didn't listen though. At that time I knew I was selfish, I knew he just wanted us to have as much time together as possible. But it wasn't important enough for me. I just... I had this urge to do whatever I could until my body couldn't handle it. I always wanted to do more, I wanted the world to remember me as much as possible because I hated the fact that I would die young.” Shiro stopped talking, taking in a shuddering breath before continuing, his voice so soft that Lance had to put all his attention on it in order to not miss a word. “So I left. I let him break off our engagement like it meant nothing, I walked away from him and left him alone and now he is gone.”  
  
Shiro let out a humorless laugh that chilled Lance to the bones. “You know what he told me? Before I left? He told me that he wouldn't be there waiting for me if I really took that mission. I guess I didn't think he would keep his words in such a cruel way.” He looked down, not letting any time for Lance to say anything about his revelation before pursuing. “I killed him in a way. If I had agreed to stop as he had asked, he wouldn't have been in that plane when the Galra attacked. He would have been safe. And I know that, in the end, leaving for that mission was what allowed me to live that long and to help save the universe but... despite knowing that, if I could turn back time... I don't know if I would still go.”  
  
“It's... It wasn't your fault, Shiro,” refuted Lance, shocked to hear his former leader talk in such a way. “Maybe he wouldn't have died that way but he could have been killed in the attacks anyway. Or maybe he wouldn't have but either way, it wasn't your fault. Adam was an adult, he took his own decisions and I might not have had the chance to meet the guy but I'm still pretty sure that he wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself like that.”  
  
Shiro stayed silent, his gaze lost somewhere only he knew, finally, he sighed. “I know. In a way, I already know all that. I know I'm not making sense and that Adam would be the first one furious if he could hear me talking like that.” He sighed again before turning his gaze to Lance, a small smile on his lips. “Sorry, for bothering you with all that. I guess I needed to let that out. Thank you, for allowing me to do that.”  
  
“You don't need to thank me for that,” Lance countered him gently. “But you're welcome. You don't have to keep all these things to yourself, you know? We are all here for you. I'm sure the others would love to be able to talk to you like this too.”  
  
“Maybe,” agreed the older man. “But I haven't been able to talk to them about it,” he admitted, hanging down his head in shame. “Keith, he knew Adam. Not as good as me of course but, he looked up to him a lot and Adam really helped him with a lot of things, so talking about him together... It was just too hard. I don't think Pidge would be comfortable talking about these things, not that she wouldn't want to but it wouldn't be easy for her and Hunk... is a really nice boy but I think such a conversation would affect him too much. As for the princess, she has lost so much already that I don't want to make her share my burden on top of what she is already shouldering,” he marked a pause before sighing, his shoulders drooping. “But honestly, the real reason is that because both Allura and Keith know the pain of losing someone important, it felt like they could see right through me... And maybe it will help later but right now... It was just too much for me.” Shiro let out another small sigh before looking up at Lance. “But I knew you wouldn't judge me or try to analyze me, that I could just, let it out and that you would listen. So thank you.”  


On another occasion, Lance would have felt extremely happy at the admission, now though, the only thing he could do was grimace at the mention of the princess as it instantly made him recall what had just happened. Obviously, giving his luck, Shiro immediately noticed it.  


“What's wrong?” He asked, frowning. “Did something happen between you and the princess?”  
  
Lance thought about lying but couldn't bring himself to do it, not after how honest Shiro had just been with him. “In a way, yeah...” he admitted as he avoided the older man's gaze. “We... We kissed actually.”  
  
For a second, it looked to Lance as if something in that declaration had made Shiro sad but he blinked and Shiro was smiling at him as if nothing had happened. “Is that so? Congratulations, then. You must be thrilled.”  
  
“T-Thanks and yeah... I guess?” Lance stuttered, trying to force himself to smile. He was talking about kissing Allura, why wasn't he happy about it?  
  
“Or not,” Shiro said, his tone serious. “It's okay, Lance. You can talk to me, I'm not going to judge you.”  
  
“It's just,” Lance stopped, hesitating on how to formulate what he himself had trouble understanding. “I don't know what's wrong me,” he finally confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I've been attracted to Allura ever since I first saw her, she is beautiful, nice, strong, smart... I thought she was perfect at first and then I discovered that she was flawed just like everyone but I still liked her, you know? I think it made me love her even more to be honest... But now, she is finally interested in me too but when we kissed, the only thing I could think of was that I wanted to be anywhere but there and the next thing I knew, I was running away as fast as I could... And now I'm here.”  


Lance let out a depreciating laugh, his gaze dropped on his shoes. Shiro didn't answer right away and Lance let him, even if the silence was making his anxiety skyrocket.

  
“I see,” Shiro finally said seriously. “Lance, look at me.”  


The concerned did as he was asked but not without difficulty, looking the older man in the eyes made him ashamed of his attitude. Shiro had just lost a person he loved and here he was, complaining about kissing the girl of his dreams.  


“Lance,” Shiro started, interrupting Lance's thoughts. “I can't know for sure what's in your heart, only you can know. But what I need you to understand is that it's totally okay for your feelings to change.”  
  
“For my feelings to... Change?” repeated Lance, confused.  
  
“Yes,” Shiro smiled at him gently and for a second, Lance saw his older brother in him. “I don't doubt that you sincerely loved the princess at one point. Maybe that's still the case now and you are just confused because a lot of things happened and our situation is quite strange.” Shiro let out a small laugh and Lance couldn't refrain himself from smiling back, their lives were indeed quite complicated now. “Or,” continued Shiro, “maybe your heart changed and your feelings for the princess aren't what they used to be anymore but you aren't aware of it yet. As I said, only you can know which is the truth, but no matter which it is, it's perfectly fine.”  
  
“But,” started Lance anxiously. “If, If what you say is true and I really don't like the princess in that way anymore... Doesn't that mean that I'm a huge jerk? Not only did my feelings change really quickly but that also means that I led her on and made her believe in something that wasn't true...”  
  
“No,” countered Shiro and Lance immediately straightened in front of the stern tone of his voice. “Lance, I don't want to hear you think that way about yourself, the simple fact that you are so worried about it is a proof enough that you aren't the kind of man you are afraid of being.” He waited for Lance to nod before continuing. “But if you need to hear it then I will explain it to you. What you said about leading her on or how your feelings weren't true enough... I don't believe it for a second, and I don't think anyone thinks so either. You have been pursuing the princess for a while now and I don't doubt that you were truly genuine about it, maybe not a first, that's true, but with time, I'm pretty sure that it was more than a mere crush. But people change and so do their hearts.” For an instant, Shiro looked lost in his mind again before shaking his head with a small sad smile. “No one can fault you for that, the princess wasn't reciprocating your feelings, it's normal that you started to move on. But now she is and it's also normal that you are lost between old and new feelings.”  
  
“So what...” said Lance, feeling more lost than ever. “Does that mean that I should, reject Allura?”  
  
Shiro smiled at him before patting his shoulder and standing up. “Only you can know that. It's okay to decide that you want to try giving yourself and Allura a chance. For the record, I believe your relationship could be quite cute. It's also totally okay for you to instead decide that what you feel for the princess is no longer romantic and to stay as friends. You are the only one who can decide.” As if remembering something, Shiro's face turned serious once again. “Don't ever force yourself to be in a relationship because you are afraid of the consequences if you turn it down though, it won't be fair to your nor to your partner.” He waited for Lance to nod before smiling gently. “But Lance, I don't know how you feel about yourself right now and to be honest, I'm not sure I'm the best person to help you with that at the moment but one thing I know for sure? You deserve to be happy. Just like you deserve to be someone's first choice.”  


With that, Shiro nodded at him before turning away and, after one last look towards the memorial next to them, he walked away.  
  
Lance stayed here for a long time, simply staring at the door his friend had disappeared behind and trying to sort out his thoughts and finally figure out what to do. It's only when his stomach rumbled loudly that he realized how long he had been here and that he was starving. Standing up, he started to walk back, feeling as if he was in a daze.  
  
His attention was brought back to reality when, as he was turning in a new hallway, he heard two familiar voices, a woman who was obviously quite happy considering the way she was laughing quite openly and someone else, a man this time, more reserved but still participating to the conversation. Looking up, he turned around and walked back to look towards where these voices were coming from and sure enough, standing in front of one of the rooms reserved for training were Veronica, his sister, and Keith, happily chatting together without even realizing that he was here. Feeling deeply annoyed for a reason that he couldn't quite explain, Lance decided that he could wait a bit more before eating and walked up to them instead, forcing his lips to stretch in a big smile.  


“Well, well,” he started loudly, startling the two. “My dear sister and my fierce leader together? Who would have thought?”  
  
“Oh, Lance,” said Keith after a second of surprise. “Where were you? Your sister was looking for you earlier.”  
  
“Yes,” agreed Veronica directing a stern gaze in his direction. “You promised you would help me train and get better in hands to hands fighting.” She glanced at Keith who was standing next to him and smiled at him. “Good thing that I found Keith who accepted to help me in your stead.”  
  
For some reason, that annoyed Lance. “He did, huh?” he replied a bit more harshly than he wanted as he turned to face the other man; he was indeed showing sign of working out. His skin was slightly more flushed than usual, his hair was obviously greasy from sweating the same way that sweat was making his shirt stick to his body in a way that didn't really leave anything up to the imagination. But Lance didn't let himself look at that part, he had no interest in such a thing after all, so what if seeing Keith looking like that made something in his stomach twist strangely and he had to fight the urge to get the man a bottle of water and to tell him to take it easy? It was simply because Lance was a good man, it was natural to want to make sure that their leader didn't overwork himself to death. Moreover, the only reason for why Lance felt as annoyed as he was when he heard that Keith had helped his sister was because he was quite possessive of his family and he didn't like the idea that someone else could replace him, that's all.  
  
“Hm, yeah?” Keith seemed surprised by Lance's tone and instantly crossed his arms in front of him, putting himself on the defensive. “I,” he hesitated for a second before pushing forwards. “I figured that if you weren't meeting your sister as you had said you would, something must have come up which prevented you from doing it and since I was going to train anyway, I offered to teach her a few things.”

Lance immediately felt like a massive douche, Keith had been trying to help him out and here he was, getting angry at him. “Sorry, yeah, that actually helped a lot, thanks man,” offered Lance after a moment, addressing him an apologetic smile.  
  
“Sure, anytime,” Keith nodded at him, studying him for a moment and Lance was sure that he was going to add something but instead, he simply clapped him on the shoulder before turning away. “Well then, I'm going to take a shower, see you.” And with that, he was gone.  


Lance stared at his retreating back, and no lower thank you very much, for a few moments before turning back to his sister, immediately frowning when he noticed that he wasn't the only one who had been watching Keith leave. He coughed loudly, forcing her to turn her eyes to him.  


“So,” he started once her attention was back on him. “You asked Keith to train you, huh? How did it go?”  
  
“Gosh, Lance,” she exclaimed immediately. “You should have warned me that your leader was merciless. He didn't care at all that I wasn't trained on hand to hand battle, he came at me like he was really going to kill me!”  
  
Lance laughed, “well yeah, that's Keith for you, he doesn't have a single idea of how to be-”  
  
“That was kinda hot though.”

  
  
Wait, what?

  
  
“What did you just say?” Spluttered Lance, convinced that he must not have heard his sister correctly.  
  
“Well, it's true that he is merciless but... That's hot, to be honest. It's good to see a man, or anyone really, finally considering me as something other than fragile without me having to fight for it. He didn't question whether or not I could handle being thrown to the ground. He went for it because he knew enemies wouldn't spare me either.” She stopped for a second before laughing before throwing him a wink. “And well, I would be lying if I said that I didn't like being thrown to the ground by someone with a body like that, I quite enjoyed the close proximity.”

  
  
It was official, Lance was not enjoying this opportunity to rest at all. Couldn't they just go back to fight aliens in space already?

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Step two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I took a loooong time to update this but I got really busy, but now it's here so I hope you'll enjoy it!

 

 

 

 

Lance stared at his sister, sure that his tired mind must have been playing a trick on him and that Veronica hadn't actually said out loud that she found Keith, _Keith_ , hot.

  
  
“You're kidding, right?” he asked, forcing himself to laugh.  
  
“Hm?” Veronica looked at him in surprise. “I'm not? C'mon Lance, I know he is your leader and all but you can't tell me that you don't think that the guy is attractive!”  
  
“Eww, stop talking about him like that!” Lance interrupted loudly, making a disgusted face. “It's Keith, you're talking about, he has a mullet for god's sake!”  
  
Veronica pursed her lips in wonder. “Well, it's true that I don't really agree with his choice of a haircut but... The rest largely compensate it!”

  
  
Lance who, for a reason he didn't even understand, had felt the strange urge to defend his leader's mullet – okay, he had criticized it too not even two seconds ago but it's just something he _does_ , his sister isn't the same, she just doesn't get it – stopped himself just in time and opted instead to simply scoff, rolling his eyes at his sister's words.

  
  
“Oh c'mon what's wrong with you?” She snapped, clearly getting fed up with Lance's attitude. “It's not like it's the first time I talk to you about a boy I find attractive so what's the big deal this time? Is it because it's Keith?”  
  
“W-What!?” Spluttered Lance. “Of course not! Why would I care if you find Keith hot!?” He quickly added while starting to walk away in the hope of ending the conversation here but to his utter dismay, Veronica followed him.  
  
“Well, he is your leader and friend so I guess it could be weird for you to hear me talking about him this way...” She started with a small frown, looking at Lance in an inquisitive way that he really didn't like. “But maybe it's not for this reason...?”   
  
“What the heck are you talking about!?” snapped Lance. For a reason he didn't understand, he really didn't like where this conversation was going and his whole body was screaming at him to leave as soon as possible and avoid listening to his sister any longer. However, Veronica had obviously other plans and Lance had learned since long ago that his sister wasn't someone he could beat.  
  
“Lance Mclain.” She said and Lance instantly knew at her tone that he wasn't going to be able to escape. Sighing, he stopped his walk and turned to look at his sister who was observing him, a strange look in her eyes.  
  
“What? I'm tired so I would like to go to my room.” Lance sighed again, avoiding her gaze.

  
  
Actually, he had no intention of going back there anytime soon, he was still scared of finding the princess waiting for him on his bed, waiting for answers he couldn't give her. But if there was one way to get his noisy sister to get off of his back, it was to pretend to be tired. He didn't like using her concern towards him against her like this but right now, he wasn't above it.

  
  
“You will go to sleep later, I think we need to talk,” she said, crushing his last hopes. “Come with me.” And with that, she dragged him to an empty room. It was empty except for a small couch in the middle of the room and some covered furniture in the right corner. Not wasting any time, Veronica strode into the room and went to the couch, sitting down before turning to Lance and patting the place next to her.   
  
“Okay,” she started once Lance joined her on the couch. “What's up with you? Spill.”  
  
“I don't know what you're talking about...” Mumbled Lance petulantly.  
  
“You're acting weird. Ever since I said that I found Keith attractive you have been wearing this frown on your face. And you can't say that it's because you don't like me talking like this about one of your friends,” she added hurriedly when she saw Lance open his mouth, she smiled triumphantly when he snapped it back with a pout. “Because I still remember you trying to set me up with Hunk a few years ago,” she finished.  
  
“That was that, this is this,” mumbled Lance, still refusing to meet his sister's eyes.  
  
“And how is it different exactly?”   
  
“It just is, okay?” Snapped Lance, irritation coloring his voice as he turned around and finally looked at Veronica. “I don't know, alright? But you just kept talking about how it felt to be under Keith and how hot he is and I just don't like it, okay?” He ranted, not stopping to think about what he was saying. “I mean, it's _Keith_ you know? How can you say such things about him so easily? You don't even know him that well! He can be really annoying you know?” he asked, standing up and starting to walk back and forth relentlessly. “I mean, sure, he is our leader now and it's true that he has gotten a lot better at the job and that he also works harder than most of us... Did you know that he spends his whole free time training until he nearly passes out? And because of that, I have to worry about him all the freaking time, especially when he goes away with the Blade because those guys are all about sacrifice and probably won't even take the time to force him to stop over exhausting himself... But it's not the only thing! That guy is so bad at social interaction that he still doesn't even understand basic things, he still refuses to say -Tron when I say Vol! He is insufferable and that's not even the beginning of it!” Out of breath, Lance finally stopped his rant and turned around to look at his sister who was staring at him, her eyes wide in wonder. “So, do you get it? Why I don't like you liking a guy like him?” Lance asked, thinking that his sister's expression must mean that she had understood him.  
  
“Yes,” she started and Lance started to smile. However, his relief vanished as soon as he heard her following words. “I get it. You don't like it because you liked him first.”  
  
“Wait... What did you say?” Asked Lance, dumbfounded.  
  
“You like him, don't you? Keith.” Veronica said simply, a gently smile now present on her face.  
  
“Of course not!” Lance countered vehemently. “He is a guy! I like girls you know? C'mon, what are you saying? You are the one who was always talking to me about the princess! You know that she is the one I like!” But just as Lance finished his last sentence, his mind flashed back to his earlier conversation with Shiro and how he had admitted to him that he wasn't so sure of what he was feeling for Allura anymore. Shaking his head, he resolutely pushed this idea outside of his mind, he couldn't think about this, not now.  
  
“Lance.” Veronica was frowning now and Lance worried that she was going to yell at him but she simply closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened then again, she seemed calmer. “Sit down, please.” She waited for him to comply before pushing forwards. “Listen, I get it. You don't seem to want to talk about it but... I don't think it's good for you to ignore things, and that's what you tend to do with things when you don't understand them and are afraid to acknowledge them.” She smiled at him sadly before taking his right hand in hers and squeezing it slightly. “You know that it's possible to like more than one gender, right? You don't have to only like girls or boys. You can like both, just like you can like neither.”   
  
“I...” Started Lance softly but didn't continue, he was suddenly feeling really vulnerable and small. “Can you? I mean... Don't you have to pick one?”  
  
“Of course not, why should you?” Replied his sister gently. “I'm like this too, just so you know. Boys, girls, anyone, I really don't care, I'm open to anything.” She added with a wink.  
  
“You are?” Lance asked with surprise, forgetting for a moment the reason for why they were talking about this.  
  
“Hm, hm.” Veronica nodded. “I came out to everyone shortly after you went missing,” she explained. “Everyone accepted it easily... Are you still going to say that I should pick one or the other?” She added more severely.  
  
“Of course not!” Lance protested, outraged to think that his own sister would doubt him like this.  
  
“Then why would you think that way about yourself?”

  
  
Lance stayed silent. He had nothing to answer. The thing is that, he knew that it was possible for people to like more than one gender, he had just never thought that such a concept could apply to him. Because he had always found girls attractive, he had never questioned his sexuality and the idea that he maybe wasn't as straight as he thought seemed foreign to him, and extremely scary. Especially because the whole idea had been brought up because of Keith of all people.

  
  
“Still doesn't mean that I like Keith.” He finally said, trying his best to refrain himself from pouting and crossing his arms.  
  
“Then, you won't mind if I decide to pursue him, right?” Asked Veronica innocently. “I wasn't lying earlier, the guy is attractive, maybe not the kind I would want for a long term relationship but we can have a little fun~”  
  
“What the-! If you are not serious about him leave him alone!” Lance exclaimed, suddenly extremely irritated. “You are probably not even his type anyway!”  
  
“Oh, oh, and what _is_ his type then?” Veronica asked and Lance was already hating himself for falling in such an obvious trap. “Let me see... Maybe a tall, lanky, tanned boy? Hmmm?” She pretended to think for a second before clapping her hands together as if she had just had a revelation. “Maybe even a pilot like him... And someone who knows him perfectly, who is always worrying about him, even when he is not here... Do you think he would like someone like this?”  
  
“Stop that,” Lance sighed. “I know what you are trying to do.”  
  
“Then let me do it,” replied Veronica. “Lance, I'm not saying that to annoy you. Even if it's a plus,” she added with a smirk before turning serious once again. “No, but really. I know that... Coming back to Earth hasn't been as easy as you thought, and I can't imagine how hard the past years must have been for you... I just can't help you with all your new traumas.” She stopped before admitting softly. “As your older sister, I can't help but feel as if I have failed you.”

  
  
Lance stared at his sister, Veronica who, just like him, tended to always act as cocky and over-confident was now looking really unsure of herself and fragile, almost ashamed. And Lance hated that he was the reason for such a change. He knew of course that his disappearance must have hurt his family badly. They were all really close to each other after all. But seeing the consequences of it was even worse than what he had expected.

  
“What are you talking about?” Lance contested after a moment, frowning. “You've never failed me, it's because you fought so hard on Earth that I was able to come back to all of you... I know how dangerous some of your missions were... Don't act as if I'm the only one who went through hard things,” he paused before wiggling his eyebrows with a silly smile. “I sure love to be the new hero of the family but even I have to admit that I must share this role with you!”   
  
Veronica huffed a laugh before punching him in the shoulder. “Stop that, idiot. I was being serious,” Lance winced while holding his hurt shoulder with a pout but the new smile present on his sister's face made it worth it. Even if he nearly regretted cheering her up when she veered the conversation back to their previous subject of discussion. “What I meant earlier... It's that I've noticed that you don't really seem happy... And if it's simply because you don't want to acknowledge that maybe you like boys, and one boy in particular... Then I can't let you do that. You deserve to be happy, Lance.”  
  
“I just...” He sighed. “Why do you think I like... _him_?” Lance asked, unable to bring himself to say his name in such a context.  
  
“Lance,” started Veronica, looking at him as if he was an idiot. “You were totally freaking jealous because you thought I was going to steal him away from you. Did you hear the little rant you just gave me about how only you knew him well enough?”  
  
“That's... I just...” He stammered, feeling his face betray him by blushing. “He is a member of the team... And we were sort of rivals at first... That's all...”  
  
“So you really feel the same way for him as what you feel for the others, there isn't anything a bit different?” Veronica replied doubtfully. “I'm not pushing you to decide right now, Lance... But think about it, okay? Was there never moments when you noticed things about him before others, moments where you found him especially attractive? Did you ever seek his presence more than other's or for a different reason?”  
  
“I...” Lance looked at Veronica, totally lost. “I don't know... Maybe? I mean, now that you say it like this there were times like these but... Can't things like these belong to friendship too?”  
  
“Well... It could, yeah,” she admitted before addressing him a reassuring smile. “Okay, why don't we try a different approach then? You know how I've just trained with him?” She asked, refraining a laugh at the immediate look of irritation that fleet through her brother's face. “Try imagining yourself as me.”  
  
“Huh?”

  
  
This time she did laugh at the look of utter-confusion that Lance was throwing at her. “Close your eyes and imagine what I'm going to tell you, and do it seriously,” she waited for a moment before pursuing with a small smile. “Now, you are in the training room, you are facing Keith, he is wearing the same clothes as the ones you just saw him in and he is a bit out of breath because you've been at it for an hour already... He runs towards you and you are ready to face him head on but the next thing you know, he has jumped in the air and he immediately tackles you to the ground.”

  
  
“Tch, he used that technique again? That's a really dangerous move to pull you know,” started Lance with a frown.  
  
“Hm, hmm,” acquiesced Veronica. “But here it wasn't dangerous at all and now you've fallen on your back and Keith is now sitting on top of you and all you can feel is the way his thighs are strong on each side of your waist, limiting your movements, and now your hands are also clasped high above your head so you can't move and can only stare at him when he looks down on you with a smirk before slowly bending down...” Veronica had to force herself to keep her tone serious as she saw the different expressions appear on Lance's face, which was now blushing furiously. “And kiss you.”  
  
The effect was instant, Lance's eyes shot open and he jumped to his feet before rounding on his sister. “He kissed you!?” He snapped. “You and him? Weren't you supposed to be training? Why the heck would he kiss you like that!?”

  
  
Veronica couldn't hold it in anymore and she started laughing loudly, even more so after seeing the frustration on her brother's face.

  
  
“C-Calm down, Lance,” she finally answered once she was able to breath more easily. “He didn't kiss me. Actually, he simply knocked me down, showed me how I was basically dead because he could kill me easily without me being able to move at all and then stood up again, told me he was going to do the same thing and asked me to try to find a way to counter him.”  
  
“B-But...” Started Lance at loss. “You said that... his thighs... And his smirk...”  
  
“I put you in that situation,” explained Veronica without feeling sorry in the slightest. “I said to imagine that you had trained with him as I did earlier, I never said that everything I was saying had actually happened.” She hurried to continue when she saw him open his mouth angrily. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm playing on words. But I needed to do that to make you understand how you felt. So, how was it? Imagining yourself in that kind of situation..? Were you disgusted?... Or happy?”  
  
“I...” Lance stopped, opening his mouth before snapping it back a few times. “I liked it... I think,” he finally admitted shyly before looking at his sister in horror. “So that means that I really do like Keith?”  
  
“It seems like it,” confirmed Veronica with an amused smile.  
  
“But... What about the princess?”   
  
“Well,” she frowned. “It is possible to be with or simply like more than one person at a time too, does it seems like something you could do?”  
  
Lance let himself imagine it but shook his head nearly immediately. “No, I don't think I would like it...”  
  
“Well, in that case, you need to re-evaluate the way you think about the princess.” Veronica sighed. “I'm sorry, I know it sounds rich coming from me since I was more or less pushing you two together before but... Maybe your feelings for her aren't what you thought they were? I mean... I've seen you two blushing around each other but now that I know a bit more about the situation... I haven't really seen you be comfortable around her... In a way, a person in love is supposed to be...”  
  
“...I'm not sure either, to be honest,” admitted Lance before explaining what had happened before between Allura and him and the conversation he had just had with Shiro. “So I was going to think about it but then I found you with Keith and now... Now I realize that I actually... l-like him and everything is even more complicated.”  
  
“Is it though?” Countered Veronica. “Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you are really confused now. But at least now you have a part of an answer. You know that your feelings did in fact change because while you were stuck into an unrequited love, you grew closer to your others teammates and fell for Keith in the process.” She waited for Lance to nod before continuing. “The problem is that the princess seems to be interested in you now. So you need to look at the way you feel about them individually. Do you still like princess Allura enough to want to try and be in a romantic relationship with her but that means letting Keith go. Or,” she continued with a smile when she saw him frown. “You can decide that what you felt for the princess is in the past and that you can't see her in the same way again and pursue Keith instead.”  
  
“But there is no way he would like me back...” Lance said, looking down.  
  
“First of all I don't think it's true,” Veronica replied immediately. “Secondly I would hope that my brother isn't be shallow enough to pick one over the other simply for a reason of facility and not because of his true feelings.”  
  
“No, no, of course not!” Countered Lance quickly. “It's just... I'm tired of being rejected you know?” He added, more softly.  
  
“Lance,” Veronica admonished him gently. “I can't be sure of anything for Keith but what I know for sure is that my brother is someone great and that anyone would be really lucky to have him...” she paused before adding with a smirk. “That and with the way Keith was looking at you earlier, I think it's too early for you to admit defeat.”  
  
“W-What?” Asked Lance, blushing deeply. “What do you mean? How was he looking at me?”   
  
“Like a smitten fool,” she answered with a laugh.  
  
“There is no way... He hates my guts, he even said it in that weird reality show!” Protested Lance. “Only one of us could be released while the others would be stuck there for the rest of their lives and he picked me to be set free because he didn't want to be stuck with me!”  
  
Veronica stared at him for a long moment and Lance wondered what he had said that was so shocking but she simply sighed deeply. “I give up. I take it back, you are too stupid about those kinds of things to figure it out by yourself... Just go talk to him and see what he has to say about this.”  
  
“What? Wait, where are you going?” Lance exclaimed when he saw her stood up and walk to the door.  
  
“I'm leaving, all this mushy talk has lasted for far too long already,” she answered while waving her hand without looking back at him. “Just go talk to him, Lance. And to the princess too. Don't think too much about this, you just need to let your heart talk, you're good at those kinds of things.”  
  
And with that, she was gone. Lance stared at the door for a moment, not believing that she would drop such a bomb on him before just leaving him alone to deal with it on his own. Then again, it was totally his sister's style so he really shouldn't be that surprised.

 

He let out a deep sigh and started thinking back to everything that he had just realized in the past ten minutes but was brutally brought back to reality by his stomach which rumbled loudly in the empty room. Lance huffed a laugh at this, only now remembering that he never did get around to eat something as he had first decided to do. Standing up again, he exited the room too and started walking through the multiple corridors of the Garrison while wondering about what he should eat, only to freeze on the spot as soon as he reached the small cafeteria that had been reserved to the pilots of the lions. Here, sitting alone at a table, Allura was looking absently at her cup of coffee, a pensive look on her face.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is! Not a lot seems to happen I know but I think it was important for Lance to have this conversation with his sister! Now it's time to confront Allura (and next... Keith huhu)
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, let me know what you thought of it, it really helps with my motivation!
> 
> See you soon!

**Author's Note:**

> And here is the first chapter! So, what did you think about it? I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Please leave a comment to tell me about it and help me feel motivated to write the rest of the chapters! 
> 
> See you soon!


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